before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
