i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Randomize
