I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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