girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
