I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
this beer tastes like vomit already
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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