I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize