Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
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Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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