And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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