4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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