I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
