oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize