wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you didnt know i had herpes?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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