WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
