The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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