The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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