**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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