Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
