I just pynch a tree in the face
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize