what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
not ubering you a puppy
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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