apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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