If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize