he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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