That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
