At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize