STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
