New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
