my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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