Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
