what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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