I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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