you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You took a bar mat shot.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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