if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The air was thick with penises
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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