so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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