I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
