I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
