I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
