it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize