I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She's the barista slut.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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