Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i think i have two assholes
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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