At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
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Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
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I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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