Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
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