I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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