The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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