I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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