i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
