I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
