i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
