i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize