dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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