coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
