i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She bit a glass in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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