dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
