god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
