i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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